Moments before Yoann Cabaye produced the free kick for Newcastle's opener, the midfielder had been speaking to his manager. What did he say?
"I just said to whip it on the back of 'em, because he's got such a fantastic shape on him, the cross that he hits. It changed the game and got us a reward. We'd exerted so much energy in midweek we decided to be very cautious in the start. We knew in the second half with three subs we could exert more pressure."
14.46 The turning point in that second half seemed to come on the hour mark, when Luiz's nervy waft at the ball allowed Ameobi to break through for Newcastle's first attack of note. Would things have been different had Gary Cahill been on the pitch?
14.40 One of the things Pardew said before the game was that he thought substitutions would be crucial. How right he was: both goals were scored by starters, but their killer second was created after some excellent interplay between two subs, Anita and Obertan (who admittedly failed to do anything else useful in his time on the pitch). Tactically it was an extremely impressive win from Newcastle, who sat tight for an hour or so before bursting into life when the game began to open up in the second half.
14.37 I'll stick around for a few minutes to see if Alan Pardew tries his hand at a Jose-style obnoxious celebration. In the meantime, Alan Tyers has got the Premier League clockwatch up and running for the 3pm games. They don't feature Joe Hart.
90 min+5 Luiz produces an impressive cross from very deep on the right and Chelsea win a corner... But Newcastle see it off and that's the last action of the game. What a performance from Newcastle.
90 min+3 A Chelsea move breaks down when Oscar tries to be a bit too clever with a reverse pass, and Newcastle break before being pulled up for a foul.
90 min+2 Two shots from the edge of the box from Samuel Eto'o, two practically suicidal blocks from Yanga-Mbiwa, who I unwisely dissed in the first half.
90 min+1 But there'll be five minutes added on. Newcastle break again, but Obertan can't keep control of his emotions. He loses control of the ball and Chelsea regroup.
GOAL! Remy wins it for Newcastle! Another brilliant goal, and it's earned by Vurnon Anita, who dribbles mazily around two challenges between the penalty box and the corner flag before working the ball back to Remy, whose first-time shot is a beauty, crashing in off the post. Again, Cech has no chance.
86 min Ramires' cross falls between Hazard and Schurrle on the left-hand corner of the area. Hazard takes control and tries to guide the ball inside the far post with the outside of his boot, only to watch his effort skid narrowly wide.
85 min Obertan replaces Gouffran. Sissoko swings in a dangerous cross from the right after a nice shouldered knock-down from Cisse, but Remy's header flies over the bar.
82 min Chelsea are playing with a line of four or five forwards now, but this isn't going to be easy for them. They are rebuffed by two ranks of black and white shirts and after some directionless passing the ball has to be recycled back to Hazard in an innocuous position on the left. He picks out Oscar on the opposite flank, but he too is in an innocuous position.
80 min Schurrle wins a header but directs it wide. Newcastle are starting to creak. If they were a submarine, water would be spurting in alarmingly between groaning rivets. 10 minutes or so before they reach the surface. Will the air hold out? End of metaphor.
79 min That's the best chance Chelsea have produced yet - the ball's pulled back to Willian on the edge of the box, who tries a guileful curler which Krul instinctively palms back out into danger. Eto'o's follow-up effort is blocked superbly by Mathieu Debuchy.
77 min Chelsea push forward but still can't prise Newcastle apart. A series of balls-in cleared by Newcastle. "Pardew would win by a mile," offers William Hargreaves. "I reckon Mourinho would cave in, either that or get really nasty when things started to slip – take Pardew's jewels in his fist, kind of thing. But the fight is unlikely to start, probably, until the end, anyway." That's enough about Pardew's jewels, William.
75 min Luiz goes into the book for a late, unnecessary shove on Remy. Willian tries to feed the ball through for Oscar, quiet so far, who's darting to the byline. Too much on the pass.
73 min Ivanovic pulls a low cross back for Eto'o, whose first touch brings the ball under control. He pulls the trigger but his shot flies into the prone Yanga-Mbiwa. Chelsea howl for a penalty - they think it struck the defender's hand. Would've been harsh.
71 min This is beautiful from Newcastle. Sissoko surges past Ivanovic on the right, finds Remy inside him, and Remy skips away from a succession of challenges, looking certain to lose the ball at every moment. A one-two with Sissoko sends him clear; he's denied by a last-ditch block from John Terry.
70 min Mourinho, who's never won at this ground in the lead, brings on Schurrle for Lampard. Let's see how this Chelsea copes in adversity.
GOAL! Newcastle take the lead through Gouffran! But what an amazing pass from Cabaye, who whips a simply undefendable cross across goal from a dead-ball on the right. Gouffran has got goalside of Ivanovic and he connects with a diving header which gives Cech no chance.
65 min Gouffran steps infield from the left, leaving Ivanovic flat-footed, and his low drive draws a good save from Cech - much the busier of the two keepers despite Chelsea's superiority for much of the game - at the near post.
64 min Eto'o steps over a low pass from Luiz after a driving run from the Brazilian. Nobody's behind him to benefit from this attempted trickery.
63 min Torres comes off for Eto'o, Ameobi for Cisse, Mata for Willian.
61 min More chances for Newcastle and suddenly St James' Park is rocking. First an excellent pass from Debuchy sends Sissoko free down the right. He shoots from close range at a right angle; Cech needs great reflexes to deflect the ball wide. Remy comes close with a volley from close range after Ameobi's knock-down, then he has another crack from distance moments later.
59 min Shola Ameobi is suddenly through after Luiz and Lampard couldn't decide who was going to clear up a loose ball. Luiz wafted a foot at it and suddenly Ameobi's got a clear path to goal, though he's a good way out. Instead of thumping a shot frmo the edge of the box he tries to pick out Remi but the ball's cut out.
57 min Great interception from Yanga Mbiwa, getting a foot to Luiz's long ball at full stretch with Torres behind him. Turns out Torres was offside, but still. Tiote was replaced by Vurnon Anita a few minutes back, by the way. Sorry. I know I should have informed you sooner.
56 min Hazard is still on the pitch but limping; Willian is warming up.
54 min Hazard miscontrols a pass and tumbles to the turf as though tripped by a Geordie ghost. Newcastle break before Chelsea get a chance to put the ball out of play. Turns out he was limping before he fell, having clashed with Tiote moments earlier.
52 min Hazard steals the ball inside his own half and zips off into Newcastle's half, dodging tackles. Chelsea sweep forward with the clear intention of putting Newcastle under pressure, but the pace drains from the move and it culminates with Eden Hazard easily beaten to Frank Lampard's final pass.
50 min Torres pushes Yanga-Mbiwa over. Back to his best!
49 min A couple of balls-in from Cabaye, stationed for the time being on the right, both close to being dangerous for Chelsea. But neither is actually dangerous.
47 min The unimpressive Yanga-Mbiwa doesn't get enough on his header, which bounces straight to Mata. Mata to Oscar! Oscar through the middle for Torres, and he's clean through! However, he's also clean offside.
46 min OK, there's a second half going on. Let's hope it's better than the first. You know what I think? I think it will be. #Trust.
HALF TIME Lee Mason whistles the first period to a close with Jose Mourinho already heading for the dressing room, having seen enough. The two best chances fell to John Terry from corners, which gives some indication of what kind of match this has been. Chelsea have been superior without doing anything all that good; Newcastle have looked steady enough at the back while giving the ball away too frequently in midfield.
Half-time chatter: David James reckons Juan Mata might have won a penalty on the 23rd minute when he went down in the penalty area had he gone down with a little more theatricality. David Ginola manages to concur without doing any rude hand-gestures. Down on the touchline, BT's irate voice of reason Mark Halsey disagrees furiously, suggesting that a penalty might have led to a riot.
44 min Cabaye gives the ball to Eden Hazard then fouls him cynically. Eden has a roll around, looking undignified. Cabaye's one of those players - like Xabi Alonso - who's dirtier than his reputation as a classy technician lets on.
43 min Mata has the ball in the net but but is immediately pulled up for a sneaky tug on Williamson's shirt as they waited for a cross to come in.
42 min Moussa Sissoko is the first player to be booked after crunching Ivanovic with a scything tackle without getting particularly near the ball.
40 min Newcastle have another couple of glimpses of the Chelsea goal, as Debuchy swings in a cross from the right before good work from Ameobi almost opens up a shooting angle.
38 min Newcastle break from the corner, with SIssoko cutting infield from the left. His driven effort from Inside the box takes a deflection off Ramires and skids towards the near post, but Cech is equal to it.
37 min Mata tries to play Torres in with a lofted pass and wins a corner, which he takes himself. Newcastle see it off. Chelsea win another corner, again on the right hand side, and this time Lampard takes it. Terry wins the header again and again it's a dangerous effort. Santon, stationed on the back post, bundles the ball off the line.
35 min A tense spell of Newcastle possession, with Chelsea hounded them in midfield, comes to an end when Luiz easily cuts out a long ball aimed for Remy. He glides towards the centre circle and hoiks a high ball over the top for Mata, but it's overhit.
32 min Tiote takes out Oscar on the halfway line as they competed for a header. That looked accidental - Tiote slipped on the greasy turf and tumbled into the Brazilian's back - but he still gets a ticking-off.
30 min That's a decent effort from Cabaye, a low ping struck with his left from just outside the D, pouncing on a neat-lay off from Remy after Sissoko's long ball. It's bound for the bottom right corner of Cech's goal but the keeper saves without too much bother.
28 min Hazard skips all too easily past Yanga-Mbiwa and makes for the byline. His cross eludes everybody in the box and bounces away from danger. Chelsea haven't created a clear-cut chance yet but they look much the more likely team to score.
25 min A moment of class from Frank Lampard, just short of midfield perfection. He intercepts a pass in the centre circle, escapes his man with a one-two with Ramires, and suddenly in a couple of seconds he's taken the Newcastle midfield out of the equation. His angled through-ball, though, is a little too under-powered to release Eden Hazard.
23 min Bewildering interplay between Mata and Hazard, who exchange two or three one-twos, trying to befuddle Newcastle with geometry. Mata goes down under a challenge from Debuchy inside the box - nothing given - and the ball bounces wide to Ashley Cole, whose low thumped effort is comfortably saved by Krul.
21 min Lampard thumps a free kick miles out of play from a promising position by Chelsea's left touchline.
18 min At the other end, Gouffran swivels away from Luiz to make a little bit of space in front of the Chelsea box and slots a pass through the defenders to Remy. Slightly overhit and it rolls out of play.
17 min Torres shows a burst of speed to win a 50-50 ball after a hopeful ball upfield from Oscar, then considerably strength to bounce off a couple of challenges and keep control by the corner of the box. He does well to poke the ball back to Ivanovic, whose cross goes out for a corner. Nothing comes of it.
16 min Terry does well to get a foot to a huge route-one pass aimed at Loic Remy.
14 min A speculative through-ball from Luiz rolls right to Yanga-Mbiwa, who's under no pressure but fails to control the ball on the slippery surface. Luckily for him, the ball bounces away to a team-mate.
12 min Mata whips in a peach of a corner from the right and Terry beats Williamson to the header. Krul's beaten but the ball crashes against the bar and back into play, falling to Ivanovic, who goes for an spectacular overhead kick. The ball loops up and bounces against the top of the bar for a second time.
11 min Sissoko, in the right-back's position, thumps a long ball towards the Chelsea penalty area for Debuchy, who's making a centre-forward's run. Total football! The ball goes out of play.
9 min Ameobi knocks down a long ball to Remi and charges into the box in expectation of a return ball, but Remi can't get it under control.
8 min Ivanovic charges down a shot from Gouffran, hit from a good way out, as Newcastle try to capitalise on a spell of possession in Chelsea's half.
7 min Tiote crashes into Mata, a little high, a little late, a little violent. He gets away with it.
5 min John Terry is in a spot of bother, having picked up an early niggle or knock. Thank heavens for the advanced technology which allows BT Sport to show a little image of Terry grimacing and hobbling about in the corner of the screen without cutting from the action. That's progress.
4 min David Luiz glamorously curls a not-very-good shot high over the bar. Derisive cheers from the home fans.
3 min Hazard spins away from his marker and paces into dangerous territory on Newcastle's right for the third time. He skips infield, draws a foul, and Chelsea have a free kick to the left of the D.
2 min Ashley Cole and Mathieu Debuchy slide for a loose ball by the corner flag after some mischief from Hazard. Cole wants a corner, doesn't get it.
1 min Chelsea kick off and do some confidence-building own-half passing. Luiz receives and redistributes the ball a few times without doing anything too wacky.
12.44 The teams are out and the stadium has observed a minute's silence ahead of Remembrance Sunday. Is it callous to type during a minute's silence? Because that's what I just did. I think it's OK so long as you don't hit publish till the minute has passed.
12.40 They're pumping out some punk at St James' Park. It sounds like CBGBs in there! They're getting fired up.
Not that I've ever been to CBGB's, mind. Does it even still exist? Really I posted this song out of nostalgia: it reminds me of Tony Hawks Pro Skater. I think it was on the soundtrack to the third game in the series, but I wouldn't stake my life on it.
12.33 Here's Alan Pardew. "We've got a good feeling in the dresssing room, we can give them a tough game. They've got a lot of flair on the pitch but you need a bit more than that at Newcastle. We need to make sure they can't work between the lines, that area is important, we need to keep that closed and condensed. But we've got two strikers today and hopefully we'll get some goals.
Will he climb into the crowd if Newcastle win today? "No it would just be great for Mike, for the club, because we've been getting a lot of criticism."
12.31 And here's Jose. "The team is playing well. We are not having results occasionally. The team is fighting hard, every player on the pitch. We had a fantastic October, with 100% victories, but October is over and now is November. I was informed yesterday I never won here in the Premier League."
Selection dilemmas: "Every player deserves to play. Some players have been frustrated, they have to transform that frustration to motivation on the pitch and at the moment they're doing that."
On coming to St James' Park: "They ask for 20 penalties and 50 free kicks but that's the nature of their support and their emotion."
12.24 So then, this football match. Who's going to win it? It's going to be Chelsea, right? They've become alarmingly good at winning in the last few weeks. It's been surreal following their progress this season. In the foreground has been Jose and all his artful silliness: the petulance, the grandstanding, the aggro. He's so good at misdirection that his stealthy creation of a new winning machine at Stamford Bridge has seemed like an afterthought. Now we're in a situation where they haven't lost in over a month and could end the day top of the table.
Standing in their way, the 11th-placed team in the league. A team full of talented players which nevertheless manages to fall so far below the sum of its parts it's as though somebody at St James Park has invented a new way of doing of arithmetic. But perhaps Newcastle will pull themselves together today. After all, it was in this fixture last year that the unheralded Moussa Sissoko turned in a performance that made him look like one of the world's most dangerous midfielders. Perhaps he's due another game like that.
12.15 Let's get one thing clear right from the off, so there can be no confusion: if you came here expecting some kind of snarky comment on Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley and his club's decision to excommunicate the city's journalists, you're reading the wrong liveblog, my friend. Let's face it: local newspapers have grown WAY too powerful in recent years. For too long, the mighty Evening Chronicle has ridden roughshod over this country's core values – values like fairness, respect, and deference to enormous wealth. Amid such moral confusion it takes a man of courage and principle to put up his hand and say: "Enough." This week, the Colossus of Burnham has shown that he is that man.
12.10 Aside from Mata's inclusion at the expense of Andre Schurrle, no major surprises in those line-ups. Gary Cahill is disappointed again, with David Luiz given the nod.
12.04: Good to see Juan Mata back in the starting line-up. All this "dropping Juan Mata" nonsense had gone on far too long. It's like popping into a restaurant you've been to many times before and asking for "the usual", but instead of returning with your favourite paella (which is to be honest the only reason you ever come to this restaurant) the maitre d' comes back bearing a steaming pot of mystery stew.
—What's this?
—Fusion gumbo. It's a combination of German, Belgian and Brazilian cuisine with many beneficial health qualities.
—Is the paella off the menu?
—Until such time as it learns to track back, yes.
11.59: Morning all (just about). Ed here. Let's have some team news.
NEWCASTLE: Krul; Debuchy, Williamson, Yanga-Mbiwa, Santon; Sissoko, Tiote, Cabaye, Gouffran; Shola Ameobi, Remy. Subs Elliot, Tavernier, Anita, Obertan, Sammy Ameobi, Ben Arfa, Cisse
CHELSEA: Cech; Ivanovic, Luiz, Terry, Cole; Ramires, Lampard; Mata, Oscar, Hazard; Torres. Subs Schwarzer, Azpilicueta, Cahill, Mikel, Willian, Schurrle, Eto'o
